(photo from tumblr)
I don’t want
An ordinary love
I want the love of a poet
And their words
Deep in my soul
With the clock face covered, I couldn’t tell you what time it was exactly. The light from the window had begun to change and there was this dread forming that outside life was calling.
“I don’t want to go.” I pouted slightly.
“I don’t want you to go either babygirl.”
I curled up in the crook of his arm, my bare leg stretched and bent over top of his hips and kissed his chest then took the liberty with a tiny nibble.
“That doesn’t feel like an attempt to leave.” He intuitively remarked grinning.
“Ok ok… I have to go.” I said sitting abruptly.
I felt his arm drift to my back where he caressed it with his fingertips. I inched closer to the edge of the bed, while inertia called me backwards.
I caught a glimpse of my black lace thong on the floor and I thought if only I could reach them I would be homefree.
His hand traced my arm until he reached my hand that had been propping my body up slightly and he squeezed it. I grabbed it back while finally being able to stand reaching back to him while squatting down to reach my thong.
“You know those panties didn’t stop me from getting inside you last time.” He said with a sly and mischievous grin.
I groaned, still heightened from all the adrenaline, looking up at the door then looking back to him.
I let his hand drop as I shimmied my panties on and reached for my toothpaste stained tank top and black skirt.
“Damn it, where’s my bra?”
“You mean this?” As his hand raised a familiar black undergarment and his smile broadened.
“You think you’re going to hold me hostage by hanging on to my bra?” I laughed.
“Look at your breasts, they aren’t going anywhere without this.” He said holding it away from me.
“Fuck.” I said grinning back.
I half assed reached out for it. Nothing in my soul felt like it was time to leave. Pretence and the outside world were pressuring me. And now so was he.
I swatted out for it once more half heartedly. Then dropped my skirt and top in resignation.
“Yes,” he said,”that’s the idea.”
He tossed my bra towards the ottoman and it fell on the floor. My hands hovered at the waistline of my thong and I began to lower them.
“No.” He said looking at my hips. “Leave them on. I’m up for a little challenge after all.”
With that he yanked my arm do we could both fall back into bliss.
I stared up at the ceiling feeling the damp sheets underneath my back. I could have cared less to be honest, the afterglow that was lingering had taken over.
I could hear the water running in the bathroom, the hum of the air conditioner and the rest was pure tranquility.
“What time is it?” I heard him holler in his Midwestern accent.
I reached behind me to the bedside table and lifted off the pillow that had been well placed to avoid the realities of life. My stomach growled, indicating that it knew it was well past the supper hour so as I peeked at the time I wasn’t surprised.
“It’s 8 o’clock.” I said slightly raising my voice in order to be heard over the bathroom fan and running water. He didn’t respond, I imagined he couldn’t hear a word I said.
I sat up and went first to collect my bra by the ottoman and then scrounged the covers for my panties lost somewhere in the bed.
“I can’t find my…” I started to speak then realized again there was no way he was going to hear me, “…oh never mind.” I concluded as I saw a piece of black lace sticking out from the bottom of the bed.
I pulled my panties on then clasped my bra, then made my way to the place I had dropped my top and skirt in my last previous attempt to leave.
Slowly I found myself dressed then remembered the status of my phone just before I had arrived.
“Fuck.” I murmured.
“What is it?” I heard his voice call from the bathroom. “And what time did you say it was?”
I laughed at his ability to make out my profanity but the inability to have heard the time a few minutes earlier. That’s ok I thought, I didn’t really want to know the time either.
“My phone is dead. I should have charged it when I got here.” I whined.
He sauntered out of the bathroom in a pair of khaki shorts undone, and it was evident he wasn’t wearing any underwear. His defined view pointing directly towards his money maker. I’m sure at this point I began to blush.
He grabbed me behind the waist and pulled me into him and I arched my back slightly.
“Well, you were a little distracted when you first got here.” He pointed out.
He lifted my chin with one hand and with his newly brushed minty teeth put his lips on mine. I winced thinking about my toothpaste accident and reflexively reached up and crossed my sweater over my breasts.
I smiled through our kiss and I felt him smile back.
“What is it?” He said leaning back to meet me eye to eye. “You’re blushing!” He exclaimed.
“Well you’d think after today I would be all blushed out!” I wasn’t joking in the least.
“Ok it’s silly, but just before I left home I ran back in the house to brush my teeth and in my haste didn’t quite make it to the sink in time to spit.”
I opened my sweater to show him the stain I had drooled down my chest and he laughed. He reached up and cupped my breast not even giving the stain a second look.
“You could be covered in ketchup stains and I wouldn’t care. I’d still have you naked in seconds.” He crooned.
I didn’t doubt him for a second. The fact I was fully dressed seemed a mighty miracle in itself.
He gave my breast a squeeze then dropped the same hand around to my ass, slowly lifting my skirt to expose my panties.
I moaned as I pushed my forehead into his lips, drawing my eye sight down towards his unbuttoned shorts. He squeezed my right cheek then dropped my skirt and slapped my ass.
“Now, what was that about your phone?” He reminded me.
Damn, he had a better attention span than I did because I had completely forgotten about the phone that was currently in my right hand.
“Right,” I exhaled a stuttered breath, “my phone. Charged. I mean I need charging. I mean I need to charge my phone!!!” Exasperated with my poor ability to form words I held it up in front of his face and managed to escape the words, “cord. Charge it.”
He burst out laughing and grabbed the phone and cord from my hands and plugged it into a USB port by the bedside table.
“Damn you’re cute.” He teased, “Is this good?” He said pointing out how he made much better and quicker progress than I was headed towards by myself.
“Perfect,” I exhaled in relief and slumped to sit on the edge of the bed while I waited for it to charge.
He sat down next to me and reached for his own phone. For a split second I thought about all the other women that may be vying for this man’s attention back home.
I barely knew anything about him except that he traveled for work and pleasure, that he was a ranch hand out of high school and had mad bedroom skills. I resisted the urge to look at his phone to give him privacy.
“Do you want to see some pictures while you wait for your phone?”
He slipped these words out with such subtlety that a non attentive ear would have missed the modicum of vulnerability. He was opening up part of himself that existed outside this hotel room.
“Of course I do.”
I scooted over closer so we were thigh to thigh and watched him open his photo app. He scrolled through a cache of pictures till he stopped and let me hold his phone.
It was a picture of a light haired little boy about the age of 3 on a horse. In the background there was the tell tale signs of fall with trees of golden and crimson. Both child and the handsome man standing next to the child were dressed in jean jackets and I turned to the man next to me and asked him if that was his son.
“Yes, his name is Jack, this was taken a year ago.”
“You look so proud standing next to him. It appears he is the apple of your eye.” I said in sincerity.
“His mother took him back to California shortly after this was taken.” He started.
He explained how she had grown up there and her parents were still there. After they split up they had shared Jack back and forth but explained how it had been really hard on him.
“With all my travelling for work Jenn made a pretty good case to the courts that she should have full custody. It all happened so fast, before I knew it she had made plans to move back to her parents where she’d have help.” He continued.
So, he talked about how he was getting ready to move there himself. At least to keep his primary living space there so anytime he was home he could spend time with his son.
“I’ve been lucky to see him every few weeks, but it’s just not the same.”
I sat and listened. Never realizing the story behind the man. Feeling selfish that I had never asked about his life or if he had kids…or worse if he had a wife.
To be honest I was relieved to hear he had an ex but I couldn’t help but think there was more to the world of one night stands than I first imagined.
There was a past, a present and now a future ahead of both of us, in part that made up who we are and how we got to this moment. And I couldn’t not consider that what happened today, wouldn’t affect our tomorrow’s.
Breathless I reached over to the pillow that lay across the generic bedside clock and checked the time. I let out a long groan and stuffed the pillow back over top of it.
Facedown on the bed and pressed into the well used sheets, was a middle aged me not so anxious for this moment to end.
The young man behind me, well he certainly was of undoubtable skill and an hour in, as breathless as we were, more was what our palettes were craving and more was what our appetites were demanding.
“I should go,” I managed to moan out.
Then feeling the weight of his body sink further onto my back side I moaned again for a whole other reason.
I bent my arms ready to get up and I felt his hands at my hips drawing me upwards and into his middle.
I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, chestnut hair disheveled, my ample breasts hanging between my arms and I braced myself to get up; and there was a pink flush across my skin in the places the sun hadn’t yet kissed this summer.
What struck me most was the look on my face, my pinked swollen lips, cocked eyebrow and a mischievous quirk in the corner of my mouth that said without words, I wasn’t going anywhere.
He countered my urge to get up and pushed my back down so my chest met the sheets once again and my head angled itself off to the side with my ass exposed in the air.
No… he wouldn’t. Would he? I hadn’t. Ever. Why would I hold back now?
“Oh my god…”
The room spun as he drew a line from the nape of my neck all the way to the crease of my buttocks and I held my breath.
Then with a gasp inwards we both startled as a voice and loud knocking were heard at the door.
“Hello? Hello?” Was it a Spanish accent I heard? Or a ….wait, why were we hearing the click to the lock on the hotel door give way?
With that I lurched away from the line of sight and quickly threw a pile of balled up sheet at the man that was standing plain as day, now naked in front of a hotel maid that breached the door without waiting.
…”house….keep….ing.” This strange woman chimed with a tone that went initially from cheerfully pleasant to an oh Mary Mother of Jesus type of expression.
“We’re good, no really we’re fine. No service today is needed, honestly.” None of these words really required much explanation when spoken by a man with a crumpled up sheet covering his well endowed privates.
I had already begun shaking silently with laughter while the voice of the poor hotel employee could be heard apologizing profusely. Then with a click and a chain on the door slide I knew we were in the clear.
I burst out laughing and rolled over holding my side while still holding the duvet to cover up my nakedness. I looked over just in time to see the sheet flying through the air to land at my head. By this point tears were rolling down my cheeks from laughing so hard while he stood there stark naked enjoying the giggle fits I had found myself in.
I slowed my laughter and wiped the tears from my eyes and found myself focusing on the man before me; marvelling at his form while he walked over to the tiny fridge and I watched him as he grabbed a coca cola out to mix with his Jim Beam.
He had a tattoo of a Celtic dragon that covered his left shoulder and his deltoid, and it flexed as he poured his drink. It must have taken hours of sitting in terms of the extensive detailing on his tattoo, I thought.
He had a small amount of darkened hair on his chest that matched the blackish brown hair on his head and even at a distance laser green eyes that hummed a sexual prowess I couldn’t quite imagine a 30 year old should even have.
His buttocks firm, shaped just perfectly for two hands to grab, I thought and his powerful lines of hamstrings and calves were pronounced as you’d expect with a fit young man.
He turned around and held up the bourbon and I declined. I was drunk enough as far as I was concerned and this kind of drunk involved a hangover I wanted to linger over for days.
He sat naked on the ottoman, elbows resting as a tripod on his knees while he looked over his cup.
I sat on the floor propped against the bed with a white feathered duvet across my chest covering my pale bare skin. I listened to his grand story telling of working on a ranch in his early 20’s, while the air conditioner hummed in the back ground.
He was a dynamic young man, it seemed with fervour for other things than just great sex. He went on, and I just sat there listening to his adventures on a cattle ranch in Colorado after high school, until I heard the tone in his voice change.
He let his words trail off as he reached to place his cup on the side table and I looked up to meet his green eyes knowing their meaning with full intent. I bit my lower lip and felt my body begin to tingle once again.
“Can I touch you?” I asked in a silky tone.
“You don’t have to ask…” He replied matching my tone with a husky growl.
I sat up from reclining against the bed and my cover fell gently away; nipples pink and firm from the cooled air and aroused state, I pushed the blanket full off me until I was freed from its entanglement.
I leaned forward until I was on my hands and knees crawling towards him. My hair falling off my shoulders, grazing my breasts, and my ass swaying slightly back and forth as I made my way to kneel in front of him.
We kept an intense eye contact that heightened the electricity in the room and I reached up to drag my finger nails down the inside of both his thighs as he sat spread before me.
I inched closer and closer as I wedged my way in between his legs, feeling him widen to make room for me.
My head tilting slightly up to continue to meet his hypnotic stare, I knew I was on level with his stark raw need and his lust filled eyes, once again, gave everything away.
He reached around my head and gathered my hair in his fist, tucked a stray strand behind my ear then thrust my willing mouth down onto his hardened staff.
I felt the saliva in my mouth begin to pool and I covered his girth as deep as I could go. He pushed me further and I gagged, pulling back slightly and he resisted the urge to let me off the hook just yet. I felt his heat harden further underneath my lips and tongue as my head met his pace.
I heard his moan released to the white stucco ceiling and I felt my own warmth begin to drip between my legs.
In a few short minutes we had gone from shooting the breeze, albeit nakedly doing so, to feeling like we were a part of some erotic hazy dream.
I felt a tug on my hair where he had fashioned a ponytail with his grip and he motioned me to rise. I left him hardened and well lubricated so as he let go of my hair and grabbed my ass with both his hands he motioned me to straddle him.
I felt my first knee on the soft ottoman sink a little, then the next until I hovered over top of where he wanted me.
Impatiently he took me and guided me down firmly, his hands on my hips feeling him begging them to twist and rotate while he filled me.
Our lips met with as much vigour as our hips did. Until I felt a jostle and realized he had pulled us to standing, I clung to the back of his neck as he carried me to the bed.
He pinned me under neath of him taking full advantage of his mobility and my lack there of. He pushed my legs wide with his knees, and the force made me inhale sharply. My folds already infiltrated, stretched for both our pleasure in rhythmic ecstasy, as I matched him thrust for thrust.
I felt a bead of sweat form between my breasts as his brow furrowed and a fervent need for faster, for harder grew as he reached his edge.
“Cum for me.” I managed to growl out while scraping my nails down the length of his back.
His eyes closed and his mouth darted for my breast, he took my nipple between his teeth when I felt him jerk and bite down through a torturous moan uncontrollably. His seed flooded my vessel and a wave of pleasure shot from my breast straight to my own edge. Leaving us breathless and gasping, collapsed flesh on flesh and spent once again.
It was a moment of do or die. Speak now or forever hold your peace, or in this case, pucker up or go home.
I hadn’t dreamt of this moment just to let it dissipate into a fizzled inability to follow through and I wanted what I wanted, and it seemed so did he.
My heart was racing under my sweater I had worn to cover up a stain on my shirt. A victim of a toothpaste mishap in fact. The top had criss crossed across my breasts but happened to be in the way as I had frantically pulled myself together woken from an anxious suitor.
“Tell me you’re coming?” He said huskily, as I searched for my keys and hopped on one foot pulling on my black lace brazilian thong.
“I’m leaving in five minutes. I just have to get dressed and find my damn car keys.” I had fallen back to sleep waiting for him to be done his last night of work while in the city.
“Don’t worry too much about dressing, we’ll have your clothes off the second you get through the door.” He said in all seriousness.
“If you want me to come let me get off the phone so I can make my way.”
Jesus I thought, I don’t even know where I’m going.
Like he had read my mind he said he would text me the room number and address of a newly built hotel in the west end of the city. So I threw on my black skirt and clasped my matching lace bra and pulled my tank top over my head.
I had started to head out the door then stopped realizing i had just woken up and I should probably brush my teeth. Well that was that.
“Fuck!” I garbled out as more toothpaste drooled down my chin.
I stared at my disheveled self in the mirror brushing my teeth, rolled my eyes then proceeded to wipe my shirt off with wet Kleenex simultaneously.
I had gotten out the door in under ten minutes after it was all said and done, so I threw my bag on the passenger seat and climbed in.
11% left on my phone battery and I was still waiting to get his text about where to go. I looked down to my car charger and it wasn’t there. Double fuck.
I was going to start driving. I knew the area but had never heard of the hotel.
I can actually say with 3% of my battery left and driving through summer construction traffic my frantic and heightened sense of anticipation was palpable.
I stopped at a red light, picked up my phone in time to get the room number and exit number for the freeway to get to him. Done. I now knew where I was going.
I pulled in to the parking garage to the hotel and sat for a moment. Not a doubt in my mind. I was lingering more for the fact I hadn’t changed my shirt and I had looked down to see the outline of fluoride laden across it. I thought I had wiped that out with water at the sink. I’m a piece of work but I had a plan.
Despite being at the height of summer I knew I had a sweater in my hatchback. So, I grabbed my bag, got out of the car and went to the back. There it was, my woven sweater, I grabbed it and pulled and it snagged on something. I yanked it again feeling quite impatient by this point and heard the tear. It had somehow gotten pinched between the folded down back seats and now my sweater was torn. Piece of god da….
“Hello!” I heard from behind me as I pulled my sweater against my tooth paste stain abruptly and yelped in surprise.
I turned to see the voice I had already heard on the phone earlier, and a face of a man I had only met through dating website a few days prior. I turned away from him and threw on my sweater then grabbed the top of the hatch and slammed it shut. Heart racing, I slung my bag over my shoulder and told him to lead the way.
Intentions made clear, planets aligned, we actually did make it through the door. I had a day off call and in the city and he had one last day before heading back home to the Midwest United States. For now it seemed we were in the same space, and in the same state of mind if that’s what we were truly letting lead us.
So, with one grasp of his shirt, do and be done, was where we were at. Our lips met, and that was that.
Now someone tell housekeeping this room won’t need cleaning, till much much later.
I pulled him in to bridge the gap between he and I. There was no time to waste, this was a moment to capture and a moment for recreation in future day dreams.
The hum of the air conditioner, and the quiet volume of the tv unobtrusive to our goals.
Our lips parted and instantly I felt his tongue enter my mouth in search of mine. The urgency pulsing between our chests and hands frantic running up and down one another’s hips, arms and backs.
We both knew tender would be reserved for after. After.
Now was the time to feed the need and pursue it without reserve.
He pushed me backwards so my body slammed against the wall and our teeth scraped one another’s in carelessness. He raised my hands above me to pin them as he continued the onslaught of ravaging my mouth and I felt the press of his hardened shaft lean into the front of my skirt and grind in with a deliberate message of impatience.
My arms released and I opened my eyes to the small uncoordinated stuttered steps to the bed we made while our lips remained in contact.
A quarter turn, then another till I felt the backs of my calves resting at the edge of the bed and my bottom sat obediently to his press on my shoulders.
I reached for the button on his shorts but he grabbed my wrist as he let our extended kiss go. Instead he firmly pushed the space between my breasts to implore my recline.
His hand travelled seductively down my middle across my abdomen as I fell back. The white stucco ceiling blurred in and out of my vision as the border of my stained shirt was breached and he travelled up to pull a breast out of its black lace pocket and knead it forcefully.
While inching closer, I sensed his other hand raising the hem of my skirt and a flood of warmth passed over me in unbelief.
I turned my head in search of something, anything, to focus on, to sink my teeth in as he descended to the floor.
Eye to eye we met for a split second as a wry grin formed on his face and I felt cool air hit my wetted pink flesh, already swollen, already. All. Ready.
His two fingers were keeping my panties pulled off to the side and suddenly in starbursts of light his warm breath replaced the cool air between my legs.
He hovered over, and time stopped, the tease of all teases, the beg of a vessel needing to be used , and filled and I groaned uncontrollably.
That was all it took for him to commence and he was all it took. That was when the room spun into a kaleidoscope of electric shocks.
He held my thighs back against the bed as I struggled to get away from the reverberations his tongue kept pursuing. I pleaded as my back arched off the bed and every part of me quivered.
I squirmed and squirmed under him knowing the sounds coming from my mouth were beyond my capacity to control.
I attempted to beg him to let me be, that I had cum with a soul ravaging earthquake but he was relentless.
I felt his head lift off my tender swollen flesh and I thought my release was finally going to rest.
Until he grinned as only an insatiable twisted bastard could, entering me with his fingers and purging every last ounce of quivering orgasm my body was capable of.
Leaving me both emptied and filled.
His voice shook, and I smiled. He was as endearing as a child anticipating Christmas morning and as nervous as a bridegroom before his wedding night.
We sat down together at a tiny café table at dusk, the humidity just high enough to give a tropical feel, but not uncomfortable.
His eyes were attentive to mine, except for when the wind blew. The wind kept chasing my skirt back an inch or two, revealing more of my skin untouched by the summer sun.
His heart raced, not any longer due to nervousness but rather due to his sudden arousal. I could see his mind wondering what lay further under the hem of my skirt, how it would feel under his fingers, and how it would taste under his tongue.
Everything was given away in his green alluring eyes. I noticed him watching me, and it seemed to create an electric current that hung between us making me feel utterly in control.
I knew he wanted me and he knew I wanted to be wanted.
We discussed very little to be honest and spent even less time together for our first meeting than I had anticipated; barely scratching the surface of our lives or our passions. What I did know was that Mark was in the city for work and took a gamble on putting a quick profile on a dating website for company while in a strange city.
He wanted to wade in, but I got the impression he wanted to dive in as well. Torn with the anonymity of a stranger yet approaching familiarity, testing waters to see if tomorrow we could meet again.
This time for a more lengthly visit, this time with assurance of who he was meeting up with.
“Keri,” he leaned in, “after I leave the city you know that’s it. There’s nothing more. I’m not going to be your boyfriend, your sugar daddy, or anything. I leave the day after tomorrow and this, is all my life can sustain right now.”
I didn’t question it. It’s all I wanted. Anonymity for just one night. I wasn’t looking for someone to build a life with just someone to spend the night with. My life doing rural medicine, spending weeks on end up north never left anytime for a social life and my lonely existence had begun to take its toll. So who better than someone who was only visiting the city and ties could be loosely joined and easily severed. At least so I thought.
“I’ve never done this before.” I whispered out with all the pheromones still lingering in the air between us.
“Me neither darling.” And the shake in his voice was all I needed to believe him.
Both of us still high on lust, not deterred by conversation, I reached over to grab his chest by his shirt. I pulled him in a little closer and I found his line of site land at my breasts.
The power he surrendered to me in that moment, knowing the desire he held, the way my simple body drew him in, even as newly acquainted strangers.
I knew then a bond had been formed, one that could only be unravelled in the most decadent of ways. So we went our separate ways, carrying the anticipation deep in our need, waiting for tomorrow so we could undo one another whole.
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So many of you followed my story Heightened. It originally was posted here then I removed it to publish it elsewhere, although that plan has fallen through, you can either follow the new edited version on Wattpad or read it here.
Thanks for all your support as always!! xo
I saw you release
To the skies
And gather moss as your pillow
A blanket of velvet nite
To cover your weary soul
As you encapsulated the moon
Your sentinel of sleep
While you surrender in peace
To stand once again
For your day
Will surely come
I put the phone down
Wondering what it is
That makes you
Talk to me this way
Of who rejected who
And the pain that follows
Was it me?
I’ll always doubt
I’ll always carry the guilt
I’ll always wonder
Why we ever
Had to leave it this way
Why it ever had to be
You against me
Why falling apart
Was easier than
Working on it
If our hearts
Will ever be the same again