500 Followers!!!! #wordpress

A huge thank you to the 500 followers who follow along despite me not being a shiny finished product.

Your support is noticed and I am extremely grateful for having you along side my journey as I process life through poetry, fiction and non-fiction stories.

Blessings you all. 💜

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Excerpt from #ADateintheLife “Like A Dry Aloholic”

~

So what does one do when you can’t get a fix? You mourn, lament, tear your clothes, eat ashes and write. So here I am, evaluating the last two years of dating.
A few weeks ago I came across a guy on Tinder who was feeling me out a bit. (Not feeling me up.)  
He asked me how long I had been on Tinder for. I said I had been on for a few years, but was still single. So he got real Frank, or Tim, or Tweedlefucktarded on me and said “So you’re picky then.”
I thought about my response, for like a whole millisecond. And this is how I responded:
“I AM NOT PICKY ITS JUST THAT THE MAJORITY OF THESE MEN HAVE ONLY WANTED SEX!”  
…wait for it….
…Then he says, “I’m only in town for a few weeks, there’s nothing wrong with just having fun you know!?” 
Case. In. Point.  
I knew what he meant. And although every stage has its proclivities I don’t really feel like this is my stage any more. I seem to have graduated to picky amidst acknowledging my destructive gravitational pull towards unavailable men who actually want nothing more but a night o’flings.  
The dissonance here between body and mind can be a bit frustrating. But the mind has been honing in on the damage of allowing myself to just be used as a breathing fuck doll. As opposed to the non-breathing kind marketed in Japan for a trillion dollars.  *considers holding my breath for a trillion dollars*
In the last two months 4, yes 4 men from the last two years have resurfaced, all looking for one thing. Yup, you guessed it.
If you have read Pandora’s Box part 1-5 we can thank fucktard there for showing up a year later to ignorantly step into my present day. I invited it partially, but it didn’t take long after a few odd conversations that I didn’t want to do fuck doll all over again. I didn’t want to walk away in the dark (literally) tripping over clothes, randomly placed furniture and left out vacuums while trying to remember if we even finished the episode of Game of Thrones before other more pressing needs took over. But if I was very honest, I didn’t want to walk away wondering if I ever meant anything.  
You see, I spend most of my time writing and contemplating meaning, and it guts me a bit, looking over some of the men I let into the private places of me and how I still don’t know if I meant anything besides being a good…. well never mind that.
I have a few good people in my life. Patient people. Loving people. People who remind me, I am worth more than some of these encounters have made me feel. (And some days I even believe them.)
I have stories that I can’t wait to tell my children, stories of military police deployment and asthmatic attacks. I have stories I cry over and stories I cry laughing over. I have stories I could not tell for months after because I was unsure how to process it all.  And I have stories I have rawly told to you here in this Wattpad book.  
And why did I do that do you ask?
I like pleasure, maybe even a little pain, but what I love is meaning and process.  Discovery of self, discovery of personal truths.  But unlike inventions that come with a lot of trial and error, and tossing out the dysfunctional inventions, discovery for me carries the dysfunctional moments with me; not to shame me, or to beat me down, but because in each one of these stories I find me.  The vulnerable, strong, fragile, persevering, funny, perverted, broken human being I call me.  And I don’t want to let go of me, not any part, I want to embrace all of me.
©Entirety 2017

*For other facetious (and sometimes illuminating) pokes at dating midlife check out my A Date in the Life on Wattpad…just be careful if you have anything in your mouth at the time…lest you ruin your electronics.*
A Date in the Life

https://my.w.tt/UiNb/zoyFrHwVsH

The Rain Fall #poetryinspiredbymusic #walkofftheearth


Through the valleys‬
‪I fostered a spirit‬
‪To release me‬
‪From the demons‬
‪Of being without you‬
‪My hand empty‬
‪Open and cupped‬
‪Eyes drifting‬
‪To a pewter sky‬
‪Knowing the rain fall‬
‪Would have to fill the vessel‬
‪And my soul’s requiem of longing
‪Making my peace‬
‪With being separated‬
‪From the out pouring of your love‬

©Entirety 2017

How Was I To Know #poetry

If I had known my bones

Would need carrying 

I would have never built

A home inside your heart

A burden unlike the one

I carried in your tears

An ocean of stories

I couldn’t let go of

And now the weight of yesteryear

Anchors us to one another

As we both beg the other

To cut the rope

©Entirety 2017

 

 

 

It’s Nearly Here! Cover Reveal!!! #DearPoet #poetry  — Entirety in Bits and Pieces

Much thanks Midwest 💜

Midwest Fantasy Writes

This is my dear friend and fellow poetry writer whom I’ve never met but love dearly.  When this comes out it will be a must read!!!

Only a few days left until Dear Poet can be out in your hands!! A tireless and dedicated friend has been working on the technical end of things and I have been squeezing my brain for just the ability to follow along this road of self publishing!! But it is nearly out!! A huge thanks […]

via It’s Nearly Here! Cover Reveal!!! #DearPoet #poetry  — Entirety in Bits and Pieces

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Welts of the Cane 

Entirety in Bits and Pieces

A Lesson in Pain

He said life is cruel and she had no reason to doubt him. She went through the catalogue of the last decades of her own life, then broadened her thoughts to a world of poverty, disaster and hatred.

Life is cruel. It can be cruel.

I’m not here to blow sunshine up your ass, I’m here to teach you to endure, he said.

Life is cruel, and so is a sadist.

Tell me if you like the cane, he said. No, she replied, I do not like the cane.

Wrong answer. Life is cruel, and consequently painful.

Shoo, the cane went through the air. Cutting like a whip, faking a blow, never landing on her skin. She flinched. Every muscle, tensed for the cruelty of life to hit. Her jaw, her buttocks, her fists, clenched. Toes curled, eyes scrunched, the anticipation of pain, the tightening of…

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At the Edge

Hot my friend 😍

Midwest Fantasy Writes

he left me

He left me quivering

my surrender

to the ravage

of his lips, tongue, touch

then knowing

I could stand no more

the whisper

near my ear

“Just breathe”

claimed my final climax

©MidwestFantasy

06/21/2017

Ph| Favim.com

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Portions of Me

Exactly so…

Midwest Fantasy Writes

via Daily Prompt: Portion

piecesEach of you

has taken a portion

of me

that I have

freely offered

with love

and all my heart

some of you

even get

extra helpings

because I see you

starved and needing

but there are days

I wonder

how much is really left

of myself

©MidwestFantasy

06/01/2017

Ph|Pinterest

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A Lighthearted (and hilarious) poke at art imitating life #mamaconference2017

We laugh… but how much of this rings true??!!