Take a Risk…and Live

I watched many of you from near and far venture out to take risks this year. I watched you love, speak up, fight, say hellos and goodbyes, and embrace your life.
Scary shit lay inside the walls of 2016 – the kinda scary shit that changes us, if you let it and don’t just bury it away because of the uncomfortable ways it made us feel. You awed me often with the ways you all faced these uncomfortable moments.
You picked up pens, self published, planted seeds, built homes, fed chickens, travelled, held hands, cried, laughed and probably drank too much (ok that was me, but I blame Marnie and Tami for that). But you pushed on, despite all the self doubt, and external pressures that told you, you were too young, or too old, or not wealthy enough, or not fast enough or too far away, or unable to pull it off… some of us are still learning to push through this, and that’s ok too.
So to those of you who took risks to write your own stories, both metaphorically and literally, this past year, you inspire me. And I am grateful for the ways you have taught me to take risks to live.
Happy New Year everyone.

Entirety

Tonight I Believe

Photo from Pinterest

I remember the day the first doubt of Santa Claus came into my mind. I was walking home from school in less than balmy wintry conditions with a friend of mine. We were 8 or 9, and every day we took the same back way together. I was in love with him of course. But I do that, fall in love with beauty, people, places and ideas easily. Kyle turned to me and said, I saw my mom and dad filling our stockings, he said flat out he was pretty sure Santa wasn’t real. It was one of those things you don’t really want to know. You want to just cover your ears and sing lalalala. But the bell had been rung, the moment of doubt had been placed. It may have been one of my first moments that I could describe as Biblical, where the tree of knowledge was seen, not clear, not well understood, but tainted now forever in my own paradise of childlike innocence. I hold no hard feelings whatsoever, I mean I forgive just as easily as I love. But I being exposed to the doubt, didn’t change my feelings about the magic in Christmas. My dad continued to leave a footprint in the stones in the fireplace, we continued to leave cookies and rum for Santa …yes rum. And I still get a little piss offed when one of my kids stumbles across a not so well hidden item that was for their stocking that I know would confirm their doubt about the true existence of Santa Claus. But this is what I choose, I choose to believe, i choose to track Santa on Norad through his journey, I choose to dance in the magic of the white lights and put out the MILK and cookies for Santa. Hellz, if I find glitter, we may even put reindeer food on our lawn. Because I don’t want to be a grown up today or tomorrow. The year is full of adulting moments that just for tonite, I will put aside.

©Entirety 2016

Walking the line

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Protect me‬
‪From the wounds‬
‪Of love‬
‪No doubt‬
‪You have felt the bite‬
‪The pull and draw‬
‪Just to be left stung‬
‪As you gave up‬
‪Your heart‬
‪To feel what it must‬
‪To walk the fine line‬
‪Of preservation‬
‪And surrender ‬

©Entirety 2016

Piercing My Heart

Photo by Latyrx on Flickr

‪I watched the light‬

‪Pass through your eyes‬

‪Clear the sky‬

‪And return piercingly‬

‪Right into my heart‬

‪It was the saddest‬

‪And most brilliant‬

‪Goodbye‬

‪And I’d live it again‬

‪The sorrow‬

‪Just to feel the way‬

‪You looked at me‬

‪Once again‬

©Entirety 2016

The Whip-Poor-Will #decemberfalls

We took our last

‬‪Midnight dance‬

‪At the height of the moon‬

‪Face to face‬

‪My lips cradled in his‬

‪And the haunting‬

‪Of the whip-poor-will‬

‪Sang over our time‬

‪A song‬

‪That spoke of our end‬

‪One only death‬

‪Could bring‬

©Entirety 2016

Photo from Pinterest

Lived Not Dreaded

Let me count back

The days

Not to dote

On nostalgia

But to see how far

I’ve come

Without you

Breathing

Screaming

Sighing

Laughing on my own

In all the possibilities

In tomorrow

So tell me

When you hear

My heart stop

It’s not because of you

It’ll be because

The days that remained

Were lived out

And not dreaded

Counting myself

As already gone

©Entirety 2016 

Whiskey Nights #decemberfalls

Photo from tumblr

‪~

You were my whiskey nights‬

‪And my Riesling mornings ‬
‪You were my goodnight bite‬

‪And my goodmorning kiss‬
‪You were both my illicit drug‬

‪And my antidote
Full of ecstasy

Mixed with the sweetest returns

Of reality

And possibility 

©Entirety 2016

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Paper Notes #benthalos

Photo found on Pinterest

‪A song‬

‪That changed its tune‬

‪When I wanted‬

‪To be lost‬

‪And bang on my drums‬

‪Instead of being found in‬

‪These soft acoustic notes‬

‪And now I wander‬

‪Inside this score‬

‪Knowing my drums‬

‪Can wait‬

‪For another day‬

‪For now‬

‪I must sing for you‬

‪With my creased paper edges‬

‪And all‬

‪As I was meant to do ‬

©Entirety 2016

Winter Dreams #fieryverse

‪I passed through the trees

‬‪Holding nothing‬

‪But the crisp air‬

‪As breath‬

‪Moon welcoming‬

‪Stars trailing‬

‪From the path‬

‪You had set‬

‪And I knew‬

‪How it came to be‬

‪You and I‬

‪This magic of winter nights‬

‪So I laid in the snow‬

‪Watching for your glow‬

‪As you entered our clearing‬

‪And looked away‬

‪From the moon‬

‪No longer distracted‬

‪By the stars‬

‪And set my eyes finally ‬

‪On you‬

©Entirety 2016

Mummified #decemberfalls

Photo found on Pinterest